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Addiction

I have a problem. I’m not going to drop any names of what poison I prefer but it’s been keeping me up way too long. I’m used to getting about 10 hours of sleep a day to getting none 2 days in a row. I’m so tired I think if I feel asleep I’d fall so deep that I’d never wake up. The worst part about this stuff is it makes me sick so I can’t eat. I already only eat once a day. I had to choke down a Mcchicken today for lunch. Now all I want to do is sleep :/ I hate staying up late while the world is asleep. Everyone in bed getting some sleep before work or school tomorrow. And my boys asleep. I blew up his phone with random crap. I think I sent him 15 messages in probably about 7 minutes. I was bored okay. Then I finally got tired of being a creep and blowing up his phone so now here I am. Tired as fuck but not being able to sleep is the worst. My bodies starting to slow down on me. If I can make it through today then tonight I can probably pass the fuck out. Or maybe get a few more lines…. Depends on what I’m feeling tomorrow. I have no self control. I can’t say no well lets me honest most of the time I don’t want to say no so I don’t. I know what I’m doing is potentially life ruining but I have myself convinced I can handle it. Before today I hadn’t done it in a little over a week. I know that’s not a long time but when you get addicted like I do it seems like a lifetime. I feel bad that my parents have no clue that I do drugs. Well they know about the occasional party or bowl but my pot smoking as became a daily ritual. I wouldn’t say I’m addicted to weed but fake weed. K2 shit. I loved the high so much and I have no idea why. I would itch and my mouth would get all dry when I was craving it. It’s not hard. When you have friends like I do you rarely have to pay for your shit(: which is awesome! I don’t like how I let k2 control my life. That’s why I have to watch how much and how often I do that shit. Once a week is a good habit right? I’m never doing it again during the school week though. I’m so tired and I have class tomorrow and I can’t sleep I’m going to be so tired. Ill be dozing off while the teacher is lecturing. I have bio and math. Neither of which ill have the chance to sleep. We have a lab I’m bio and our math teacher is a bitch. So I’m just going to have to walk around with my eyes barely open all day long plus I have work tomorrow. That’s depressing. The best thing about my job is that the manager doesn’t really care what I do!(: so I’m going to take a nap in the break room for awhile! Is it sad that the thing I’m most excited for is taking a nap at like 7 tonight. I probably won’t be able to sleep till then anyways. It sucks but oh well. I willingly did it now I’m dealing with the consequences. I’m always more willing to deal with the aftermath when it was free. Paying for a shitty comedown would suck! Yay for having tits and a vagina. Know how to use them correctly and you can get whatever you want! I’ve gotten pretty good at using my assets. And I’m not talking about sleeping with guys for drugs. You’d be surprised how many dealers hook me up well just because I’m a girl. An advantage women have over men is woman’s ability to control themselves. It’s not all about sex to girls. If a girls smart enough she may even be able to play a guy at his own game(which happens often.)
Im sorry if I offended anyone with the content in my blog but it’s just helping me out. Getting my emotions all out from inside all while hopefully becoming a better writer(:
I’m a little sketches out but I’m not too worried about snitches on this sight(:
Talk to you tomorrow! Love you babies(:

1st post!(:

Hiiii guys(:
So this is my first blog ever. I decided that maybe this will help me become a better writer for English class. This is pretty much just going to be my life from my point of view. I won’t mention any names just in case people I know read this but sometimes it’ll be pretty obvious for example Im pretty much with my little sister all the time and the new addition to the group. They’re both chill as hell and I love them to death. I feel kind of lame doing a blog but it’ll be a nice way to get my feelings out. I’m unsure of how honest I should be though. I guess I’m afraid people will judge me or something but maybe not caring about people reading what I right will be a plus. I hope you all enjoy reading my story and there’s always room for constructive criticism(:

I’m afraid of heights because I don’t trust myself enough to not jump.
Unknown. (via suckonmygawea)
"We met, we talked, and it was epic. And then the sun came up and reality set in" Eliana, Vampire Diaries
Vampire Diaries